Single-Minded: Having or concentrating on only one aim or purpose.

1 John 4:7-11

7 Dear friends, let us love one another, because love is from God, and everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 

8 The one who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 

9 God’s love was revealed among us in this way: God sent his one and only Son into the world so that we might live through him. 

10 Love consists in this: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins. 

11 Dear friends, if God loved us in this way, we also must love one another.

When you think about being single, what comes to mind?

What does the current culture think about singleness?

Why are so many people afraid of being single?

Why are so many people willing to give up all their convictions and core values to make a person they’re in a relationship with happy?

“Choosing to be single isn’t selfish, it’s just smarter to be alone than with the wrong person.”

“Instead of focusing on finding the right guy or girl, spend your energy on becoming the woman or man God has created you to be.”

“There is no shame in being single. It’s not a curse, or punishment. It’s a gift.”

General Statements About Singleness:

• You are no more or less a person based on your relationship status.
• God does not look at You differently because you are in a relationship or not  
  • He still wants to be first in your life 
  • If He isn’t first in your life, then you will never have joy and peace
• When you consider a relationship – first date, long term, just friends, group of friends, etc – do you think of things that you need to do to make that person (or those people) like you (more)?
  • Comparison trap – go around the room and say things people have done – successes and failures
  • We want the approval of everyone around us so badly that we will give up the approval of the only one that matters

Fan or Follower?

“It may seem that there are many followers of Jesus, but if they were honestly to define the relationship they have with him I am not sure it would be accurate to describe them as followers. It seems to me that there is a more suitable word to describe them. They are not followers of Jesus. They are fans of Jesus.

Here is the most basic definition of fan in the dictionary:

“An enthusiastic admirer”

“And I think Jesus has a lot of fans these days. Fans who cheer for him when things are going well, but who walk away when it’s a difficult season. Fans who sit safely in the stands cheering, but they know nothing of the sacrifice and pain of the field. Fans of Jesus who know all about him, but they don’t know him.

But Jesus was never interested in having fans. When he defines what kind of relationship he wants, “Enthusiastic Admirer” isn’t an option. My concern is that many of our churches in America have gone from being sanctuaries to becoming stadiums. And every week all the fans come to the stadium where they cheer for Jesus but have no interest in truly following him. The biggest threat to the church today is fans who call themselves Christians but aren’t actually interested in following Christ. They want to be close enough to Jesus to get all the benefits, but not so close that it requires anything from them.”

“Many fans mistakenly identify themselves as followers by using cultural comparisons. They look at the commitment level of others around them and feel like their relationship with Jesus is solid. Essentially they grade their relationship with Jesus on the curve, and as long as they are more spiritual than the next guy, they figure everything is fine. That’s why some fans are almost glad when it’s found out that the Christian family everyone admires has a child who rebels or a marriage that is struggling to stay together and isn’t as perfect as it appeared. The curve just got set a little lower.”

Who Am I?

Not what you do, how old you are, or where you’re from.

If I’m going to be honest, I have to take a real assessment of who I am. 

Am I a completely committed follower of Jesus? 

Do I see myself as enough no matter who else is in my life?

In order for me to move forward in my walk with Him, I have to be satisfied that His love for me provides all the worth I could ever seek. 

God’s love for me:

• Romans 5:8
• John 15:5 – casual friends (good people, funny, good qualities) vs 12 hour road trip in a car with limited stops friends 
• 1 Peter 5:6-7
• Psalm 86:15
• John 14:23
• 1 John 4:7-11
• Galatians 2:20
• Deuteronomy 7:9
• Matthew 22:37-39

If we can agree that God loves me (and You), then how does His love for me change my perspective on all my other relationships?

Who are they?

When someone comes into my life what is my process of evaluation?

What would the right relationship look like?

What is God’s goal for the relationships in my life?

I Corinthians 13:4-8a

What things should a healthy, godly relationship contain?

• Encouragement – Ephesians 4:29
• Acceptance for who you are – and who they are – Ecclesiastes 7:8-9
• Loyalty – 
• Growth in your relationship with Christ
• Prayer – individual and with each other – 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
• Serving together and with others – 

How can I be content single, but open to a relationship if it came?