We discussed the following items in our last Bible Study. The question was asked to begin a discussion about what God thinks about dating the way it’s done in modern day america, and how do we “date” in a way that accomplishes the desired purposes and honors God.

If you had the opportunity to start from nothing and rebuild the concept of dating in a way that pleases God and accomplishes the purposes of dating, what would it look like?

Purposes of dating for a Christian:
To find a spouse
Compatibility/learn what kind of person we’re looking for
Companionship
Learn about ourselves – problems I have, strengths/weaknesses
See where you are spiritually

Where Can I Meet People who think and believe like me?
Church – Just because you meet someone at church doesn’t mean they are the real deal. Watch to see if their life matches what they say they believe
Friends – True friends are a great source of potential dates – However, be sure the friend recommending someone is just a serious as you are about your “non-negotiables”.  You can get recommendations from friends that don’t line up with your beliefs.
Work/school – Ask the right questions before agreeing to go out with someone.  Also, consider the consequences of dating someone you have to see all the time if you decide not to go out anymore.  Choose carefully!
Hobbies – This can be a great place to meet someone you’ll enjoy spending time with, but you must ask the tough questions and be willing to say “it’s just not a good idea we go out” if they don’t share your “non-negotiables”

Where should I not look for people to date?
Bar
Online – Not good for the initial search, but it can be used to continue communication with people once you’ve established a relationship of some sort

What do I hope to gain from meeting people at these places?
Watch people in different situations – I see people in all types of situations when I know them socially before we “date”. See people interact with their family or friends – watch to see signs of positive character traits or troubling character traits
Communicate thru various methods – I have a chance to talk to people with no pressure on either person. You have a much better chance of seeing the person for who they really are – instead of just the “first date” person
Mutual friends – You can find out what others know or think about someone before you decide whether or not to spend time with them apart from group settings

I’d love your input on this discussion.

Pastor Warren