Modern dating is the method of choice for most americans to meet, get to know, and create a lasting relationship with the person of their dreams. Dating in it’s simplest terms is spending time with that special someone.  You find common interests, food likes and dislikes, activities you enjoy together, and the opportunity to just “be together”.  Dating can take place as a part of a larger group or as a couple.  It can go on for years or be a one time event.  You can get dressed up, spend much time, money, and effort making a perfect evening, or you can throw on your gym clothes and head to workout your frustrations or feed your competitive side.

My point in all that was dating has no real solid definition except in its most basic stage.  It is two people wanting to spend time together – at least until one of them decides otherwise. Here’s the part that’s missing from most people’s definition – it should be reserved for those people who meet your qualifications for someone you could potentially marry.  I did say “potentially marry” because every person you date – whether it’s once or for years – should be considered a candidate for marriage.  Most marriages don’t just happen, they are birthed through a dating relationship.

We discussed the foundation of dating last Thursday night. Here are the basic questions we attempted to answer – at least to some degree.

1. What is dating?
2. What is it’s purpose?  2 parts – first, what should the purpose be?  second, what is it to most of the world we live in?
3. What are the problems or pitfalls of dating?
4. How do we correct them?

Here’s what we said to each question:

1. It is two people who have some common ground, spending time together for the purpose of seeing if they could be compatible.
2. The purpose should be to find your future spouse.  It really is that simple – the only possible reason to spend time with someone in this type of setting is to see if they have the qualities, character, and faith to spend the rest of their life with you.  I know that doesn’t address many of the questions you may have, but we’re starting out very basic.
   The second part of the question is tougher to answer.  Some of the people at our Bible study said the world thinks “dating is about the physical stuff”, “Dating is about having something to do on the weekends”, “Dating is about what I can get out of it”.  I think we’ve really just scratched the surface in talking about this question.
3. The problems or pitfalls of dating are many.  We made a pretty quick list:  to into each other too soon, go out just because you’re bored, sex and dealing with the guilt afterwards, not having a clear conversation about what each persons expectations are (define the relationship talk), getting too close to someone you should never go out with in the first place, and more.
4. We briefly tried to answer some of these questions.  

Here is what I would like for you to do as you finish reading this blog.  First, make comments to any of the answers provided.  Second, help us answer questions 3 and 4 specifically.  What pitfalls have you seen or experienced in others dating relationships or your own?  How can we, as believers in Christ, avoid these things in our future relationships?

Here are some of the verses we took a look at last Thursday.

1 Corinthians 15:33
Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

2 Corinthians 6:14
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?

Have a SUPER-FANTASTIC day!

Pastor Warren